When couples first meet romantic feelings are usually very strong and partners go out of their way to reveal themselves to each other. With time though, these feelings can fade but you can reignite them! Before we dive into tips on how to “reignite” your relationship there are two common barriers that are often a challenge.
- Time is often a major barrier for couples so before trying any of these tips sit down
and compare schedules. Find some time just for the two of you when you can
participate in any of these suggested activities. Even the busiest couples can usually find
some time if they plan for it and stick to the plan. Doing so gives a message to each
other, and to your kids, that you care about each other and your relationship is
- Quality child care can also be another barrier to spending time alone as a couple. If you do not have family who can babysit for you, find a friend (perhaps one who has
children) and arrange to exchange babysitting with each other.
Now that we have considered some potential barriers to spending time on reestablishing
romance in your marriage, here are a few tips to help get things on course.
1. Write What You Feel
Take a moment to reflect on the things you really like or appreciate about your partner but often neglect to say. Write them down in a little note or on a decorative card, and put it someplace where it will surprise her or him like under a pillow or on their car’s dashboard. If writing is not your strong suit just keep your sentiments short and sincere.
2. Go “Out” to Eat Together
Going out for an expensive dinner is traditionally a popular way to show your partner that you care but due to the expense, this gesture is usually reserved for special occasions. Try using the same concept of a fancy dinner out but at home and not necessarily on a special occasion. The reason people usually like romantic dinners is because of the ambiance and the beauty of the setting. With a little planning, a few candles, a decorative presentation and some soft music you can bring the joy of fine dining into your home, especially if you leave the TV off and spend the time talking with each other. If cooking is not your best talent, order take out and serve it on your best dishware.
3. Catch a Flick
Movies are a great way to de-stress with your partner. They allow you to sit
and forget about life’s challenges while sitting shoulder to shoulder with the one you love. If you catch a matinee before 5pm you can both see a movie for less than $15. If that’s a bit more than you would like to spend, try joining your local movie store or an online movie rental site. A single movie is usually less than $5 and can be enjoyed without even leaving the house. For the full effect, add some popcorn and drinks!
4. Phone in Your Feelings
In this day and age, cell phones are a common part of everyday life. Use yours to send a romantic text message to your partner. It can be a pleasant surprise to receive a random message in your inbox. If your partner keeps his or her phone off during the work day, a message from you can be a great find during a break in the day.
5. Take a Hike
There is a lot to be said for the simple act of walking. Walking with your partner is a great activity because it can be a relaxing time to talk about life. Not only that, it is a great way for you and your partner to get fit.
6. Get “Board”
Board games are a timeless and inexpensive way of having a great time. The cool thing about them is that once purchased, you can enjoy them for years to come. Pull the box out of the closet, set out some refreshments and have a blast. Another subtle twist on this
idea is to play cards or put together a puzzle.
7. Catch Some Culture
Concerts or plays can make a fun date night but can also be expensive! There are, however, some great alternatives to attending concerts or plays at traditional venues. Look through newspapers each week for the entertainment calendars and notice the
billboards at the local schools. This is a great way to see what kind of activities are going in your area. Local bands and schools are eager to play and always need an audience. Why not let it be you!
8. Dream Out Loud
Part of creating a healthy marriage is setting goals for your future together. Part of this goal setting begins with discussing your hopes and dreams for the future. This simple activity can be a great escape from your present financial challenges because it allows your imagination to run free. Using your imagination will go a long way in shaping your actual plans for the future. By building the foundation for your future you will draw closer to each other and potentially experience a return to former romantic feelings that can be easily overwhelmed during challenging times.
9. Take a Class Together
Research indicates that couples who spend six hours a year in marriage education have happy successful relationships. Taking a class together can help you to gain new skills and insights to strengthen your relationship. Check out the free classes offered in Weber County listed in this newsletter. A listing of classes can also be found on can also be found on under the classes tab at the top of the page!
10. Expand Your Circle
Spending time with other couples who are devoted to developing a healthy marriage can be fun because you can share your experiences and enjoy your commonalities. Many churches and community groups have activities that are designed to be fun and engaging and include good company, laughter, conversation, and refreshments. Check out the low-cost date nights coming up this fall in Weber County listed in this newsletter. Events can also be found on the right side of this page under events!
Research provided by Naomi Brower and adapted from the Alabama Marriage Coalition.